Tuesday 18 November 2014

The Journey Begins with Cerridwen

What the Crone Means to Me

I'll get you my pretty!"

Think of the Crone and maybe that's how you might imagine her. Cruel, dark, evil! Is this true of all older women? We live in an aging society and, with luck, we will become crones too, so we need to prepare ourselves for what is to come.

As a young girl I was taught to respect older women. I would see old women as Grandmotherly figures who I would always have to call Mrs so and so. Some women, who were close friends of my family, were known as Auntie this or that, even though they had no relationship to us at all.

In TV or film older women have most often been seen as fearful hags, battle axes, forgetful silly women and, very occasionally as soft, wise, kind, Grandmotherly figures. Which of these is closest to the truth?

If a person looks at a photograph of an old woman they may not see beauty. A young man, for instance, may see a figure of fun. A young woman may think the photo is ugly. A middle aged person may see a glint in the eye and softness in the wrinkles of the old woman. So it depends on our own stage of life as to how we perceive age and aging.

How can we make these assumptions without knowing the person, their life and what has shaped them into the person they have become.

Similarly, the word Crone can be seen as a negative word...old crone, cronies! Some may see old age or Croneship as ugly. Trees in winter can look like bare bones, creaking, stiff and unpleasing but in the Spring and Summer the wore beautiful green clothes and in Autumn, their robes are spectacular. An old person or Crone is someone with years of wisdom. They have seen it all and learned lots from it. They are our living history lesson if we choose to listen. They are our future selves.

Crones are in all our lives. Both known to us, as a spiritual guide and in nature around us. Elderly friends, neighbours and elderly folk that we meet, Parents, Grandparents, Ancestors, Goddess and the period of seasonal change between Autumn and Winter.
In my life, Crones have played an enormous part. Beginning in my furthest memory, with my Great Grandma Rose. I consider myself very fortunate to have memories of her. I remember collecting wild flowers for her when we visited. She always received them as though they were priceless blooms. Her house smelled of cakes and I remember her flour covered hands. She passed away when I was around 10 years old. She was a kind and beautiful soul. She took on the role of Step Mother to my Grandmother and all her siblings and was much loved and respected.

There was an old woman who lived alone in a house near to my Fathers' parents cottage in Ireland. We were afraid of her. She seemed a strange lady who sat in her stone house and we would push the bellows for her whilst she sat near the fire. She made tinctures, herbal medicines and she was reputed to be a wart charmer. She was an archetypal Crone. Wise, mysterious, kind, outspoken. Her name was Lizzy and Dad told us he thought she was a witch. I always knew she was!

I remember being a small child at family parties when one or another elderly relative would start to tell a risque story. The Younger adults would seem shocked. The old ones would grin because they had reached a point in their lives when they could do and say what they liked because no one was in authority over them. They were the elders! I watched them fall apart when partners died but build themselves up again. Tougher and stronger because they'd learned one of lifes big mysteries.

The Crones I have known seem to have accepted that things for them had changed. I can't recall how many times I've heard an old woman say "I can't do that any more" or "Speak up, I can't hear very well" I doubt that was always the case but people do tend to take things on face value and, I guess a wrinkled face hasn't much value. We need to scratch the surface to meet the beauty in the person. We need to talk to elders but most of all, listen. It's how we will learn what to expect and therefore embrace and enjoy the Crone years when we reach them and not spend a life in fear. I learned to cook, preserve, craft and budget at the knees of my family Crones. I would be only half the person I am now without them.
So, what does the Crone mean to me?

To me a Crone is wisdom, beauty, fun, harshness, sadness, happiness, fairness, patience and impatience. The Crone is everything that has gone before and everything that is to come. She is the one I seek out if I need to know something. The Crone is at the beginning of the transition to that great transformation. I am not afraid of her. She comes to us all if we are lucky. I hope I am one of the lucky ones.

I have a full 10 years before Croneship but I'm not afraid of it now because I have learned so much from nature, family members and friends who have become Crones. The one abiding thing I have learned is that the Crone is in us all from the cradle to the grave and I believe when I meet her it will be a remembering.


I hope I can be as wise, kind and completely outspoken, funny, soft, caring and mysterious as some of the Crones I have known. It is, I think, a great responsibility to be a Crone. I believe that by the time I reach Croneship, I will have earned the right to be a little naughty and irreverent.

I certainly intend to try.

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